Tag: therapy

Healing Out Loud: Breaking the Silence Together

by Melissa, posted in sexual assault, survivor, trauma, Uncategorized

I am really struggling right now. I’m in the middle of the legal process from my assault, and there are days I want to give up—not on life, but on my case. I so badly want my peaceful life back. Digging this all up after a year and knowing it most likely won’t be resolved in court for at least another year is beyond daunting. Every day feels like walking in quicksand, fighting to keep myself from being pulled under.

I chose early on to be open with my story with my loved ones and recently also with colleagues. I did not make that decision lightly, and I wish I could say I am always confident with it, but I am far from it. I constantly worry if people look at me differently—if they believe me, judge me, or judge my decision to share. Most days, I feel a bit like an animal in a zoo, on display for everyone to watch from afar but never get close enough to connect.

Then there are days like today that remind me why I am healing out loud. A young lady in my office reached out with her own story, seeking advice. I wish I could say this never happens, because it means another survivor, but unfortunately, it happens often.

When I first started sharing my story, it felt like stepping into an abyss. The fear, the shame, and the stigma surrounding sexual assault are powerful forces designed to keep survivors silent. But I chose to heal out loud, and here’s why.

Silence Breeds Isolation

One of the most insidious effects of sexual assault is the isolation it creates. The trauma can make you feel like you’re the only one, fostering a deep sense of loneliness. By speaking out, I aim to shatter that illusion. You’re not alone. We are many, and together, our voices form a chorus of strength and resilience.

Power in Vulnerability

Healing is a journey, not a destination. For me, part of that journey involves embracing vulnerability. Sharing my story is not just about recounting past events; it’s about reclaiming my power. It’s about standing tall and saying, “This happened to me, but it does not define me.” Every time I share, I take a step away from the shadows of my past and into the light of my future.

Creating a Safe Space

When I speak out, I hope to create a safe space for others to do the same. Society often tells us to keep quiet, to bury our pain. But when we share our stories, we challenge that narrative. We create a community where survivors can find solace, understanding, and support. We build a world where silence is no longer the norm, and healing is.

Raising Awareness

Every story shared is a beacon of awareness. It highlights the prevalence of sexual assault and the urgent need for change. By healing out loud, I hope to contribute to a culture that supports survivors, holds perpetrators accountable, and ultimately, works towards preventing sexual assault.

Empowering Others

Healing out loud is not just about my journey; it’s about empowering others to embark on their own. When survivors see someone like them speaking out, it can inspire them to find their voice. It can give them the courage to seek help, to share their story, and to start their own path to healing.

Breaking the Cycle

Silence perpetuates the cycle of abuse. By speaking out, we disrupt that cycle. We shine a light on the dark corners where abuse thrives. We educate others about the signs, the impact, and the importance of consent. Every voice raised against sexual assault is a step towards breaking the cycle and creating a safer world for future generations.

Healing out loud is not easy, but it is powerful. It is a declaration that we will not be silenced by our trauma. It is a commitment to ourselves and to others, that we will seek healing and help others do the same. Together, we can transform our pain into a powerful force for change. If my story helps just one person feel less alone, then every word has been worth it.

So, to all the survivors out there: I see you. I hear you. Your voice matters. Let’s heal together, out loud and unafraid.

In love and solidarity,

M

Healing Trauma with EMDR Therapy

by Melissa, posted in anxiety, depression, sexual assault, survivor, trauma

As survivors of sexual assault, we understand all too well the complex and often overwhelming emotions that accompany our experiences. The journey toward healing can feel like an uphill battle, fraught with triggers, flashbacks, and moments of profound despair. However, amidst the darkness, there is hope. In recent years, a therapeutic approach known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) has emerged as a powerful tool for trauma recovery. In this blog post, we’ll explore what EMDR therapy entails, how it works, and the potential benefits it offers to survivors.

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR therapy is a structured psychotherapy approach designed to help individuals process traumatic memories and alleviate associated symptoms. Developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR has since gained widespread recognition as an effective treatment for trauma-related conditions, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

How Does EMDR Work?

Central to EMDR therapy is the concept of bilateral stimulation, which involves engaging both hemispheres of the brain through rhythmic sensory input. This can be achieved through a variety of techniques, including horizontal eye movements, hand taps, or auditory tones. During an EMDR session, the therapist guides the client in recalling distressing memories while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation. This process facilitates the reprocessing of traumatic memories, allowing the individual to integrate them more effectively into their overall memory network.

The Eight Phases of EMDR Therapy:

EMDR therapy typically consists of eight distinct phases:

  1. History-taking and treatment planning
  2. Preparation
  3. Assessment
  4. Desensitization
  5. Installation
  6. Body Scan
  7. Closure
  8. Reevaluation

Throughout these phases, the therapist works collaboratively with the client to identify target memories, develop coping skills, and process traumatic experiences in a safe and supportive environment.

Benefits of EMDR Therapy for Survivors:

  • Rapid symptom reduction: EMDR therapy has been shown to produce significant and often rapid improvements in symptoms associated with trauma, including intrusive memories, nightmares, and hypervigilance.
  • Targeted treatment: EMDR allows survivors to address specific traumatic memories or triggers, rather than focusing on generalized symptoms.
  • Empowerment: By facilitating the reprocessing of traumatic memories, EMDR therapy empowers survivors to regain a sense of control over their lives and move forward with greater resilience and self-confidence.
  • Lasting results: Research has demonstrated the long-term efficacy of EMDR therapy in reducing symptoms of PTSD and related conditions.

As survivors of sexual assault, we are no strangers to the profound impact of trauma on our lives. However, we are also resilient, resourceful, and deserving of healing. EMDR therapy offers us a path forward—a chance to reclaim our lives, process our experiences, and move forward with renewed hope and strength. If you’re considering EMDR therapy as part of your healing journey, I encourage you to explore this option further and reach out to a qualified therapist who can provide the support and guidance you need. Remember, healing is possible, and you are not alone.

With love and solidarity,
M

Understanding PTSD: The Impact on Sexual Assault Survivors

by Melissa, posted in anxiety, depression, sexual assault, survivor, trauma, Uncategorized

Today, I want to delve into a topic that is often misunderstood but profoundly affects many survivors of sexual assault: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a complex condition that can have lasting effects on a survivor’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Prior to my assault I thought I had an understanding of what PTSD was. I was severely misinformed. To shed light on this important topic, I’ll draw insights from the book “The Body Keeps the Score” by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a renowned expert in trauma research.

For me, the nightmares began night one and lasted at least 6 months. The flashbacks, intrusive memories, and intense emotional reactions began immediately and lasted all day for months. I couldn’t do anything for more than a few minutes without an intrusive thought punching me in the gut and causing me to lose my breath for a moment. The smell of cigarettes anywhere near me sent me right back to that night and his smoky breath on me. Even if I was safe with friends or family, my body felt imminent danger as if I really was fighting for my life. The hypervigilence was also immediate. In case anyone isn’t familiar, hypervigilence is a state of heightened alertness, sensitivity and awareness to potential threats or dangers in the environment. It was as if my head was constantly on a swivel out in public. I couldn’t be in a restaurant because the constant scanning for danger, sudden movements of others, and the potential for the unknown was too overstimulating. If I did go out in public it exhausted me for days. None of this was a surprise to me. These were all PTSD symptoms I expected from watching war movies.

What caught me completely by surprise was the anger. I am not an angry person. In fact, I tend to be more of a pushover than a pushback type of person. Months into my healing journey I found myself without an ounce of patience for anyone or anything. I felt constantly on edge, annoyed, and ready to fight anyone that even looked in my direction. I found it nearly impossible to manage humans when part of my job is to listen to the needs of others. Their complaints and gripes felt minimal compared to the hurricane going on inside my body. The angrier I became the more I beat myself up for being angry. I became a life coach to help other people with their problems. What is wrong with me!? The anger I felt towards myself and others was eating me alive. I picked up the book, The Body Keeps the Score and it was one of the most validating feelings I had. And one of the first times I envisioned channeling that anger towards advocacy.

The Body Keeps the Score is a dense book full of medical jargon that doesn’t make for an easy read if you aren’t into that sort of thing. I have highlighted some of the most meaningful takeaways for me personally:

  1. The Nature of PTSD: Dr. van der Kolk describes PTSD as a response to overwhelming traumatic events, where the brain and body struggle to process and integrate the experience. For survivors of sexual assault, the trauma can manifest in intrusive memories, flashbacks, nightmares, and intense emotional reactions.
  2. Dysregulation of the Nervous System: One key concept highlighted in the book is the dysregulation of the nervous system in trauma survivors. Sexual assault can trigger a heightened state of arousal, known as hypervigilance, where survivors remain on high alert for potential threats. Conversely, some survivors may experience dissociation, a state of emotional detachment or numbness, as a coping mechanism to distance themselves from the trauma.
  3. Impact on Brain Structures: Dr. van der Kolk explores how trauma alters brain structures, particularly the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. The amygdala, responsible for processing emotions, becomes hyperactive in response to perceived threats, leading to exaggerated fear responses. Meanwhile, the hippocampus, crucial for memory consolidation, may struggle to differentiate between past trauma and present safety, contributing to intrusive memories and flashbacks. The prefrontal cortex, involved in decision-making and impulse control, may also be impaired, affecting survivors’ ability to regulate emotions and engage in effective coping strategies.
  4. Somatic Symptoms: “The Body Keeps the Score” emphasizes the somatic manifestations of trauma, where survivors may experience physical symptoms such as chronic pain, gastrointestinal issues, and autoimmune disorders. These somatic complaints are often linked to the dysregulation of the autonomic nervous system, which governs involuntary bodily functions, including heart rate, digestion, and immune response. For survivors, these physical symptoms can further exacerbate their distress and impact their quality of life.
  5. The Role of Trauma Therapy: Despite the challenges posed by PTSD, Dr. van der Kolk offers hope through trauma-focused therapies such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and somatic experiencing. These approaches aim to help survivors process and integrate their traumatic experiences, regulate their nervous system responses, and develop coping skills to manage distressing symptoms.

Anger specific takeaways:

  1. Anger as a Response to Trauma: Dr. van der Kolk emphasizes that trauma, particularly experiences of sexual assault, can evoke intense feelings of anger in survivors. This anger may stem from a sense of powerlessness, betrayal, or violation of boundaries during the traumatic event. Survivors may also harbor anger toward perpetrators, society’s failure to protect them, or even themselves for what happened.
  2. The Physiology of Anger: Understanding the physiological underpinnings of anger is crucial. Trauma triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response, flooding the system with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. For survivors, this heightened state of arousal can lead to a persistent sense of irritability, agitation, and rage. Additionally, trauma may dysregulate the amygdala, the brain’s emotional center, amplifying emotional responses and making it difficult to modulate anger.
  3. Anger Turned Inward: Dr. van der Kolk highlights that many survivors internalize their anger, directing it inward toward themselves. This self-directed anger may manifest as self-blame, self-destructive behaviors, or feelings of worthlessness and shame. Survivors may struggle with accepting themselves or forgiving perceived mistakes, leading to profound emotional turmoil and self-sabotage.
  4. Healing Through Anger: While anger can be overwhelming and disruptive, it also serves as a potent catalyst for healing. Dr. van der Kolk advocates for the acknowledgment and expression of anger as a vital step in the trauma recovery process. Through therapy and support groups, survivors can safely explore and process their anger, reclaiming a sense of agency and empowerment in the aftermath of trauma.
  5. Transforming Anger into Advocacy: Beyond individual healing, survivors’ anger can fuel collective action and social change. Many survivors channel their anger into advocacy efforts, speaking out against sexual violence, advocating for policy reforms, and supporting fellow survivors. By transforming their anger into a force for justice and empowerment, survivors reclaim their voices and contribute to a culture of resilience and accountability.

Reading this book didn’t magically heal any of my PTSD symptoms but it did give me a sense of control back knowing that everything I was feeling was normal and as the different stages of healing came, I was prepared with what was to come.

Understanding the impact of PTSD on sexual assault survivors is crucial for providing effective support and interventions. By recognizing the interconnectedness of trauma, the brain, and the body, we can empower survivors on their journey toward healing and recovery.

If you or someone you know is struggling with PTSD or the aftermath of sexual assault, I encourage reaching out to qualified mental health professionals for support and guidance.

With love and solidarity,

M